"Joe" the "Plumber" is Kind of Stupid

As you probably know by now, the guy to whom both candidates gave repeated shouts-out in the final presidential debate has become an overnight sensation -- watch for Joe the Plumber t-shirts, TV appearances, and maybe dating Britney Spears.  At least until Hollywood's famous vortex sucks him down, into the terrible world of drugs, debt and debauchery, and at last he winds up working night security at a shopping mall, alongside the late Gary Coleman.

Actually, we just checked Wikipedia, and it turns out Gary Coleman is still alive.  Go figure. 

Anyway.  A couple of things to know about Joe the Plumber, who wants to buy his boss's business, and is afraid that Barack Obama's tax plan will make that dream impossible:

• His name isn't Joe.  It's Samuel.  He calls himself Joe, which is his middle name, and there's no reason he shouldn't.  But we're not going to.

• He isn't a plumber -- that is, Sam isn't a licensed plumber, the kind of guy you call over when there are burst mains or pipes that need to be re-routed.  (Although we suppose he could re-seat a valve.  Father Anonymous did that this summer, no license needed, and found it the most terrifying-but-exhilarating three minutes of his recent life.  It's been a slow year.)  According to the Toldeo Blade, Sam works for a real plumber, and likes to pretend that he's allow to do plumbing "under the license" of his employer, but that's simply not how the laws are written, so he's lying and probably committing fraud if he comes over to re-seat your valve.  At least if you pay him.  And by the way, he's worked for his present employer for six years, and hasn't had a apprenticeship recognized by the union, or taken his licensing test.  Which makes us wonder how likely he is to ever buy the business. 

• He likes paying higher taxes.  This is the only possible deduction to be drawn from his apparent support for John McCain, whose plan calls for people in Sam's income bracket to continue shouldering a larger share of the national tax burden.  Obama's plan would cut his taxes, and continue cutting them unless he more than sextupled his $40k income.  When confronted with the fact, he remarked that "he would not want the cut."  This makes us wonder whether, having somehow purchased a business he is neither trained nor licensed to operate, he possesses the basic financial skills to keep it afloat.

• But he's very forgetful.  That's why, even though he likes paying taxes, he hasn't paid the $1200 or so for which Lucas County, Ohio, has put a lien on his property.  Which, again, makes us wonder whether he will ever buy the company or keep it going.

We at the Egg understand that stupid people vote -- just see our post on the subject, down below.  Likewise with liars and frauds and tax-cheats.  But we do wonder what it means when presidential candidates begin pandering to them.