Ms Locklear was picked up for DUI the other day, and had her good name (as well as a surprisingly respectable mug shot) thrown about in the tabs. Well, just for the record: She was framed.
The police didn't hold her, for the good reason that her BC was well below the legal limit. Turns out the whole thing was a set up, by a former employee of US magazine, who watched her leave a store, then made a 911 call to report her before her car was even moving, and then called a paparazzi to cash in. Sleaze.
The Montauk Monster was too good for this sick, sad world, which is why he has surely returned to the depths, his absence a reminder of our wretchedness.