Sex Scandal Is Good News for GOP

By now, you have surely heard that Senator John Ensign (R-Nev) has admitted to an extramarital affair. He's married, she's married. Ickier still, she worked for him and so did her husband. Droit de seigneur, anybody?

You have probably heard some crowing from the Democrats, since Ensign had positioned himself as a Defender of Marriage. He called upon both Bill Clinton and Larry Craig to resign after their various capers came to light. He was part of Promise Keepers (anybody remember them?). He supported the (silly) effort to add a definition of marriage to the US Constitution, and he did so in language that now sounds painfully ironic:

“Marriage is the cornerstone on which our society was founded. For those who say that the Constitution is so sacred that we cannot or should not adopt the Federal Marriage Amendment, I would simply point out that marriage, and the sanctity of that institution, predates the American Constitution and the founding of our nation. Marriage, as a social institution, predates every other institution on which ordered society in America has relied.”

You may also have heard that Ensign is a "rising star" in his party, and has now "destroyed his chance at a 2012 presidential run." But we beg to differ! We at the Egg believe that the current scandal will only serve to raise John Ensign's public profile, and strengthen his chances of becoming America's forty-fifth president. Here are a few of the reasons why:

1. John Ensign is Tough on Crime. Seems the wronged husband was trying to blackmail him before he went public. The confession put an end to that. So you see what this was, right? A sting operation! Ensign had sex with the guy's wife as a means of defeating a criminal conspiracy.
2. John Ensign Doesn't Have to Pay for It. Unlike that mama's boy David Vitter. And think about this -- Ensign is from Nevada, a state where prostitution is legal. And he still doesn't pay for it.
3. John Ensign Likes Girls. Hah! Take that, Larry Craig, you moral degenerate.