Sunday, June 01, 2008

Obama Needs a New Church

After all, he quit Trinity UCC last week.  And who could blame him?  Trinity's pulpit has done what neither Hillary Clinton nor the secret-Muslim-fearing morons of West Virginia could accomplish:  actually hurt Obama's campaign.  

At coffee hour today, old Father Anonymous made a deal with some of his parishioners.  "If any of you ever runs for president," he said, "I promise not to publicly humiliate you.  And if I do it by mistake, I promise to apologize quickly, and then keep my damn mouth shut until you're elected."  It just seemed like the decent thing to do.

But why wait?  We can begin not embarrassing candidates today. If Senator Obama would like to join a church where visiting clergy are politely asked to talk about Jesus rather than make fun of a woman's tears, and "inflammatory rhetoric" really just means talking about how to get the incense lit, then he should consider our little neo-Gothic patch of Paradise.

But fair warning, sir:  we will ask you to bring baked goods to coffee hour.

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