Or maybe they are happening, but you just don't care so much. Think of Lent as a chance to practice Buddhist non--attachment.
Still, a few things have caught our attention lately. (Apart from Japan, which is too unbelievably serious for a yellow-bloggerism rag like the Egg to deal with. Do we have to say it? Okay, then: Pray. Give. Repeat.) More up our alley are these tidbits:
- Unpopular Bahrain tyrants have requested military assistance from neighboring unpopular Saudi tyrants. Iran, which supports the sure-to-win-eventually protesters, rejoices. Rest of world doesn't know who to hate and fear most.
- Sarah Palin reported to be on outs with FoxNews. Both parties rejoice at immediate uptick in news coverage. Rest of world doesn't know who to hate and fear most.
- Some guy we've never heard of doesn't believe in Hell. This is hardly news; lots of people don't believe in Hell. This guy's a minister, so people get upset. Big freaking whoop. We knew a guy who stood in the pulpit on Easter morning and said he didn't believe in the Resurrection. (We asked him about it once, and he smirked. Yet not only did lightning not strike the guy dead, he retired comfortably -- leaving behind a crippled and dying congregation. So we do believe in Hell, mostly for this lameass. And for Joe "Spiderman Kills His Kids" Quesada.)
- Speaking of Spiderman: Amazingly, nobody has turned out the lights. Officially. Yet.
- A church in Florida has spent several years worshiping inside a balloon. Now they can't pay the rent, so ... that sucking sound has nothing to do with NAFTA.
- Tip of the biretta to Salon's William Wolfrum for this magnificent headline: "God Shoots Himself in Wynnn Las Vegas Hotel Room." We wish the post were as good.