Skimming tonight's news, we see that Newt Gingrich says it is his "expectation" that he will run for president. No real surprise, and we actually give FoxNews some credit for firing him, along with Mike "Mau-Mau" Huckabee.
And then, further down the column, we see that Michelle Bachmann is talking about a run. The National Journal proposes that she will "steal Palin's thunder."
Okay, people. Newt and the Huckleberry are not viable candidates, in the sense that their many negatives (serial adultery on one hand, feinting toward the Christianists, Birthers and Portman-bashers on another) outweigh their limited positives (reasonable IQ on one, respectable guitar licks on the other). If the polls are to be trusted, Palin is pretty much the same, with more stylish eyewear. But Bachmann goes beyond "not viable" into "no freaking way on God's green earth." At best, her run could be to the Tea Party what Kucinich was to the Socialists, or Nader 'o8 was to ... well, the three people who voted for Nader '08. Vanity, thy name is campaign.
A Bachmann candidacy is this close -- this close -- to a Cynthia McKinney run. And be honest, what would you pay for tickets to that?
(Not to mention, as the beautiful Mother A. reminds us, of Donald Trump and John Bolton. Yes, that'a right, the original short-gingered vulgarian and the third- or fourth-most hated appointee of the single most hated president in living memory. Those're gonna happen.)
In other words, this is going to be great theater. As we've said before, these people are the rodeo clowns of presidential politics. They come out now and thrill us with their antics. In hope of a little publicity, they will say or do damn near anything, no matter how stupid, cruel or tasteless. We fully expect the Gingrich sex tape one week, and the Palin Plan for Israel and Palestine the next. Or vice-versa; it barely matters.
Meanwhile, Mitt Romney is remaking himself again, pretending to like NASCAR and skinny jeans. Rodeo clown or real deal? We still don't know. Chris Christie is hanging out quietly in the background, as are a bunch of other Republicans governors. Any one of them is more credible than the next few months of sideshow acts, but none of them is half as entertaining.