The following missive was recently sent by one of our sacerdotal colleagues to another. Names have been omitted to prevent embarrassment. Otherwise, res ipse loquitur:
Dear Pastor X,
A suggested beginning for your sermon Thursday -
In the beginning was the L--- family and the L--- family was with Pastor X for parish dinners and with Pastor Y for parish dinners; and behold it came to pass the sexton of Pastor X's congregation struck with a chair upon and about the head an esteemed member of Pastor Y's congregation; and following thereupon, the mother of both the striker and strikee joined rank with those of the faithful departed; and therefore be it acknowledged by all pursuant to this notice that Pastor X will offer full and unconditional public apology before the funeral gathering to all offended parties both the quick and the dead within the hold of Pastor Y's charge for all offenses both real and imagined emanating from and pertaining to the premises of Pastor X's congregation perpetrated upon the inhabitants and incumbent members of Pastor Y's congregation.
Or something like will do just fine. Looking forward to our 10am Thursday joint funeral efforts.