Our Patroness

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Saturday, December 08, 2012

Secession Fever!

We've got it!

Here at the Egg, we eagerly support the movement for Texas secession.  As you know, a petition to grant the Lone Star State leave to go its own way has garnered more than 80,000 signatures.  Economically, Texas is roughly tied with Russia for fifteenth place in the world.  As those of us who saw Davy Crockett well remember, Texas has a proud tradition of independence. Why, it was once an independent republic, with its own embassy in London -- which still exists, although now it's a Tex-Mex restaurant called the Texas Embassy.  (Decent nachos, if you're an expat in need.)

Texans, it appears, are sick and tired of being hitched to the other 49 states.  Why should a state that has added a million jobs during this recession be held back by 49 economic cripples?  For that matter, why should a functioning Baptist/Republican theocracy be yoked to the sort of idiots who elect a Muslim socialist for president -- twice?

No.  Texas is ready to go, and it may just be that the time has come.

Oh, there will be some naysayers. Consider, for example, Justice Antonin Scalia, who -- when asked about this by an aspiring screenwriter -- wrote:
[T]he answer is clear. If there was any constitutional issue resolved by the Civil War, it is that there is no right to secede. (Hence, in the Pledge of Allegiance, “one Nation, indivisible.”) 
Damned activist judges.  Come the Revolution, he'll be the first one defenestrated.

But obviously, a bunch of tough cowboys aren't going to take their marching orders from a some mollycoddled Philadelphia lawyer (it's just an expression; he practiced in Cleveland).  The march for freedom will go on, and on, and on -- largely because it is a rhetorical campaign, led by people who have no honest intention of spending the vast amount of money that would be involved in actual secession.

But, be that as it may, we still support this movement.  Not only that, but we hope that secession will be accompanied by some hard feelings and mutual distrust.  Enough that the Texans will think twice about allowing flights to and from the States; that they will put up a nice big wall, or at least some checkpoints, to keep out Oklahomans and other riffraff.  Tight passport control, and only a few visas issued at a time.  Not that immigration will be impossible mind you -- merely that it will be excruciatingly difficult.

It may be hard for the rest of us to accept, but this is what Texans want -- and need, and deserve.

In related news, we will be spending much of the Christmas holiday with our inlaws outside Dallas.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Texans should make common cause with Staten Islanders. They always want to secede also. From New York. They can have reciprocal embassies and passports issued in Texas can be valid in Staten Island. Just sayin.

Big Apple Rev