Darkness Visible

To justify the ways of the movie industry would require the skills of a formidable writer. Any number have tried and failed. On the other hand, several writers have tried to justify the ways of God to man, and at least one has come awfully close (especially if one's leanings are at once Calvinist, classicist and obscurantist).

So Hollywood bought the rights.

All of which means that plans are afoot to film Paradise Lost.

Here's an informative but badly-written story. (Ande here's the poem, if you need to brush up). The guy who directed I, Robot has signed on; some star I've never heard of is in talks to play Lucifer. The script has already been worked on by a small army of writers, only one of them with much of a Tinseltown track record.

It sounds a little weird, but -- honestly -- it might work. It's got the ultimate in just war, and as much sex as you want to film. Paradise Lost is famously difficult to read, but the good news is that you don't read movies. If you cut through the density of the language and the literary allusions, a lot of it is pretty visual, and easy (okay, easy-ish) to imagine onscreen. Here is Satan, mustering his strength after the defeat of the rebellion:

Forthwith upright he rears from off the Pool
His mighty Stature; on each
hand the flames
Drivn backward slope thir pointing spires, and rowld
In
billows, leave i'th' midst a horrid Vale.
Then with expanded wings he stears
his flight
Aloft, incumbent on the dusky Air
That felt unusual weight,
till on dry Land
He lights, if it were Land that ever burn'd
With solid,
as the Lake with liquid fire ...

It just cries out for CGI, dunnit?

Anyway, the Times gets the best line, noting that although the casting for Adam and Eve hasn't yet been announced, the costumes should be pretty easy.