Legend has it that 70% of the new members at an average American church are there because they were invited by a friend.
For thirty years or more, this factoid has been passed around among the clergy like a joint at a hippie gathering, which is to say that it has been held reverentially, spoken of in hushed but appreciative tones, breathed in and then put aside until it is needed again -- all while, quite possibly, creating mild hallucinations.
The truth is that the supposed study behind this figure is hard to track down, and even if it exists it is very old. American church life has changed dramatically in the past 50 years, and especially in the last 5. Moreover, standards of privacy and sociability have also changed. What was once genial may now seem intrusive -- ask any pastor who still drops in unannounced, or at least the people upon whom that pastor drops in.
The most recent information we can find that might support the old 70%-invited-by-a-friend comes from Pew Research, which is generally pretty creditable (as opposed to, say, Barna). It also places that number in an important context.
In 2026, Pew released a report called "Choosing a New Church or House of Worship," based on data from a 2014 study. This wouldn't be so very old, had not COVID intervened, but COVID did intervened, and so the results must be looked at skeptically indeed. Still, it will be a while before anything newer covers the same territory in as much detail.
The overall conclusion of the report may be the least surprising thing ever said on the subject, summed up in a headline: "Americans look for good sermons, warm welcome." (The report also ranks "worship style" almost as high as homiletics and how-d'ya-do, so don't forget your maniple, because nothing says style like a ceremonial hand-towel.)
Location also matters, so choose yours wisely, as do programs for the wee ones. All of these things -- sermons, welcome, style, location, programs -- seem to be ranked more highly on the list of reasons that worshipers choose a new church than personal connections. But those connections do play a role. The report offers this useful chart:
There it is in the second column: 69% of people seeking a new church have talked to members of the congregation. That is not far at all from our 70% story. And the numbers also back up an important corollary of the legend -- conversation with lay members appears to be more important than conversation with the clergy.
But where the legend is framed to highlight the urgency of personal invitation, the wording of the study implies that the person seeking a church may be more active, and the church member more passive. More important still is the addition of "friends and colleagues," a category which is apparently separate from church members.
Our conclusion is something like this: The legend is spun to encourage congregants to invite people to church, and to make them feel a little bit guilty if their church isn't growing. The numbers presented by Pew suggest that in fact a person looking for a place to worship will ask around rather broadly, and compile a sort of "local reputation score" consisting of what impression of a church they get from different sources, including but not limited to its members. This seems natural.
It should be obvious that, since 2014, the internet has continued to take over every aspect of our lives, including our spiritual affiliations. How many of us live-streamed a decade ago? How many of us even considered the possibility of what is politely called "virtual communion"? In that spirit, it seems natural to assume that, were this study to be repeated in 2025, the "looked for information online" category would have eaten up numbers from the others, and probably swallowed the quaint old-fashioned "made a phone call" bones and all.
Anyway, it seems to us that the basics are unlikely to have changed. A church that hopes to grow should certainly have good preaching, welcome new people with love, worship with zeal, and be located in an accessible place. A good website doesn't hurt, and neither does a favorable reputation.
To all these things we add: Many churches possess all these attributes and do not grow. Some possess most of them and still shrink. Such are the times in which we live. Don't beat up on yourself, whether you are a pastor or a lay member. And don't beat up on each other, either. Ultimately, it is in God's hands, not ours.
